Love is a different thing to different people. Some suffer insomnia, some lose appetite, some tremor with every touch while others fly without wings. Love can achieve the impossible. So if Love can achieve all that, why is it so hard to get through a break up? A heartbreak takes away all the magic love has created leaving one at the mercy of gravity. In some cases, those who hurt us don’t deserve a second chance but in other cases, even with all the pain, we believe in our partners and the love we had. Forgiving is hard, forgetting is impossible. One question arises; is He or She worth it?
I read something on a blog Quotes that will help you get your shit together that went something like:
Grab a plate and drop it on the ground.
Did it break?
Now say sorry to it.
Did it go back to the way it was before?
Do you understand?
It’s a nice way of encouraging mistake free world. Unfortunately, shit happen and we are left staring at fragments. So, what do we do with the fragments? The main mistake we make after a heartbreak and the mistake in the plate dropping piece above is that, we want it to GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS BEFORE. Am not saying it is impossible. It is actually possible. You just have to have someone else (since the process involves breaking the heart further) take the fragments, crush and grind them into fine powder, apply a temperature of about 1700°C and reshape it to the way it was before. Sounds painful right? Let’s try some less painful options.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past – Isaiah 43:18
The less Painful method we are going to use involves making something different, something more beautiful with the pieces. It involves accepting that what we had was good but it can still get better. It doesn’t even require you to get a new partner. If you are willing and creative enough, you and your partner can create something beautiful from the pieces. I am not going to give a step by step process of doing it because that’s not how the matters of heart work. What you create with the broken pieces is entirely up to you.
Being Broken isn’t necessarily a bad thing
I read about Kintsugi; a Japanese art of fixing broken pottery using lacquer dusted or mixed with gold, silver or platinum. The idea is that, with effort, something broken can be made more beautiful. Anybody who has ever tried doing it (with super glue or the Japanese way) will tell you that it’s not as easy as it is beautiful. It require lots of effort and very steady hands. A heart is not a broken piece of pottery so fixing it requires more effort but if done right, you may end up with something more beautiful than before. Just to recap, there is no laid out process fixing a broken heart. It all depends on your knowledge of yourself and your partner and the passion you have for your Love.
The hard part is getting past the pain. The only way out is accepting that whatever happened did happen and decide what to do. It doesn’t matter if you decide to fix or not to fix it. You will still need to mend your wounds and get past the pain. Something may still break in the process of trying to fix so it helps if you already know how to deal with that. You will need to understand your ego and your partners ego and know how to work with that. There are very few things that a person outside your relationship can tell you about your relationship. This is because a relationship is made up of tiny bits of smiles, words, touch, laughter, moments, thoughts… all bound together by great imagination.
Find Something to Die For. And Then Live For It.
People have created beautiful thing from broken pieces. From great Mosaics to beautiful picture frames. All this involves putting things together in a way that makes you smile. And sometimes it makes others smile too. It gets easy if both parties were truly in love because then, both can put in the effort to make it work. If He or She is worth it, it doesn’t hurt to put in the effort. If it doesn’t work after the effort, at least you are sure.